Anyone?

Well, I know, it's been a really long time! 

Let's just not talk about that.

  Since the last time I wrote here many things have changed in my life. Some pretty big changes that made me think, made me think about the last five years and the fact that I've been absorbed in many many things that kept me away from all those other things I should have been doing! There are some that I regret doing and some others that I regret not doing. I regret not giving enough to someone that should have gotten more from me. I regret not expressing my feelings and hiding the real me behind that unexpressed face. I was struggling to have my real feelings exposed to someone who needed it and I was asking myself "Why are you doing this?"at the same time. My reaction to this was idle, an empty face with two empty eyes,those eyes had some kind of filter that did it's job amazingly good! This job was to clean out and kill every little feeling,that would make me seem alive, before being visible by anyone else. The only thing that's for sure is that I am not the same person I used to be 5 years ago.because you see, 5 years ago I used to be somebody that I loved and that I would spend time with, and now? Well, I'm not sure if I can stand myself anymore. There are many things out there that can destroy every inch of humanity you might have left inside of you and you shouldn't let anything take that away from you. Because at the end of the day and late at night we are all by ourselves and we are still that little human being that BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!! has fears! passions,needs! Yep we are not perfect! 

  

   During the last few weeks I made the decision to be a better person,especially for the ones I love and the ones that might love me. If only I could turn back time, I would change many things,but since I can't do this, I am willing to change the would be future of mine. I promise that and that's a promise to myself and to a little stranger that wanders around town looking for herself. I know this town is cruel I've been walking on those same dirty streets and I know it. Don't let them get you down girl,you've got so many things to give because you have a beautiful soul and I know that cause I've met the real you.

So let's just rewind, reload and live,but this time for real.